What Lies Beneath
by Rose13312
Summary: Amu is alone. She has no one; her charas left, her friends, her family, Ikuto and even her boyfriend, Tadase. Amu loses it and self harms. But on the same she cut herself, Ikuto returns and soon after Utau returns from America. She shows them what she had done and they slightly shocked. They tells her that they'll never leave her. Is this true? WARNING: COULD BE TRIGGERING
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

**A/N:**

**I don't really do Author Notes but I just like to say that this story could be really triggering if you self ham. **

**I dedicate this to my best friend who self harms. If you have a friend who self harms, you must know it's really hard. If you self harm and feel your alone, your not. You have me. I'm not trying to be soppy, trust me. I actually want to help. If you _ever _feel alone, just PM me, OK? I'll try my best to help you. I know most of you will probably ignore this and skip to the story but for those of you who read this, I'm here, whatever it is.**

**Rose x**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath**

"I'm sorry Amu-chan, but this isn't going to work," Tadase-kun says.

"What... what are you talking about?" I say. I already know and I'm dreading his answer.

"I've found another girl I love. I'm sorry Amu-chan, I don't love you anymore."

He pecks me on my cheek and walks of.

He can't just leave me hanging like that! Tadase-kun was the one thing keeping me sane and now even he's left. Everyone leaves in the end. My friends, Ikuto, Tadase-kun and sometimes even my family. Yup even my own flesh and blood cease to care about me. Ikuto left to search for his dad. My friends. 'Friends', what a joke. The people who I thought I could trust turned out to be back-stabbing bitches.

I trudge home feeling depressed. When I arrive home, the house is empty. I look around for a note, but I don't find one. My family don't even bother to let me know their going out let alone inviting me.

I feel so alone.

I am alone.

I shuffle up the stairs to me room and fling the door open. I almost expect Ikuto to be lounging on my bed but unfortunately no cat. I wonder what Ikuto do if he knew Tadase-kun, I mean Tadase, had dumped me. I walk over to my desk to see if I can put my emotions into art. Art makes me think of Miki. Even my shugo charas left me. I try to put Miki out of my mind and reach for my pencil and my pencil sharpener. I stare at my pencil sharpener, for some reason in a trance. I find myself walking downstairs towards to my dads toolbox. I pull out a screwdriver. I walk back to my room and I unscrew the pencil sharpener and watch the blade drop out onto my lap. I pick it up and run it gently over the middle or my forearm. I do it again. And again. I almost can't feel the pain. It almost feels good._  
_

Suddenly something snaps in my head. I look down at my mangled arm.

_What am I doing to myself?_

Blood drips down my arm. I run towards the bathroom and run the cold water tap over my bloody arm. When I'm satisfied the blood has washed of my arm, I hunt for the first aid kit. I wrap a bandage around my mangled arm. No one can no about this. They'll all say I'm attention seeking. I put the remains of the pencil sharpener in the bin and put the blade in my jewelry box underneath all my chokers and necklaces. I can't bring myself to throw the blade into the bin. I put my stained white school shirt into the washing machine and get changed into my pajamas. I mop up the blood on the floor in my room and uncontrollably cry on my bed.

Suddenly my phone rings. It's Ikuto. What does he want? He's meant to be on the other side of the world. I answer it, sniffling slightly.

"Hello?" I say into my phone.

"Yo," I hear the deep voice of Ikuto.

"Ikuto? How are you? Where are you? How's Yoru?"

"Whoa, so many questions! Calm down, ha ha, how are _you_?"

"I'm- I'm," I glance down to my arm and break down into tears.

"Amu? Amu, whats happened? Are you OK?"

"No," I say the only word that can come out in between my sobs.

"Wait there, Amu," Ikuto says and then cuts me of. What does he mean wait here?

I sob and cry into my pillow, my arm throbbing. Even Ikuto's leaving me. What have I done that's so wrong? Suddenly there's a tapping at my balcony window. Only Ikuto comes through there. Ikuto. Ikuto? I throw open the balcony doors. Someone takes me roughly into their arms. They smell familiar.

"Ikuto?" I say.

"Amu," Ikuto says.

I sob into Ikuto's chest mostly because I'm so happy that I still have someone who hasn't left. He lets go of me but I still cling to him. Ikuto laughs.

"I thought you didn't like my hugs?" Ikuto says. I let go. He takes in my tear-stained face. "Oh Amu, whats happened to you?"

"Everyone's leaving me, Ikuto. I even thought you were going to leave me when you cut me of. Tadase dumped me today. He's in love with another girl. Yaya, Rima and Utau have left me. My parents don't give a shit about me," I think about telling him about my arm. Ikuto takes me in his arms.

"Why would they do that?"

"Because they think that I'm an attention seeking cow."

He hugs me tighter.

"And today I..." I don't know whether to tell him or not.

"What Amu? Tell me," Ikuto says totally calm.

I pull up my pyjama sleeve and show him the bandage. Ikuto's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What happened?"

"I- have a look for yourself." He gently pulls back the bandage which is bloody on the inside. He removes all of the bandage and his eyes widen at what he see's.

"What happened Amu?"

"I- I did it to myself."

"What? Why? What made you do this to yourself?"

"I- well Tadase dumped me and he was the only thing that was keeping me sane and I just lost it because I have no one."

"You have me," Ikuto says totally calm, but I can see hurt in his eyes. It fills me with guilt.

"Yeah but I thought you left me too because you went to look for your dad."

"Yeah but, _this_?"

"It was like I was in a trance."

"How did you do this?"

"Well I was going to draw something and I saw the pencil sharpener and something switched in my brain. I didn't even know I was getting the screwdriver from my dads toolbox. So I unscrewed he pencil sharpener and I took the blade and I cut myself. The scary thing is though, I couldn't stop."

Ikuto didn't say anything. There wasn't much to be said really. So he hugged me tight and wouldn't let go.

"I want you to know that you're not alone, OK? You have me," he says.

"That's enough for me," I say, muffled slightly from his chiselled chest.

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**Did you like it? R&amp;R please =)**

**Chapter 2 will come out soon **


	2. Chapter 2

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath - Chapter 2**

"Ikuto, you have to go!" I hiss at Ikuto. "My parents and Ami have come back."

"I'm not leaving you, OK?" Ikuto says, stubbornly.

I sigh. "OK, whatever." I leap in my bed landing on my sore arm. I cry out in, tears of pain escaping from my eyes.

"Amu! Are you OK," Ikuto's eyes shine with genuine concern.

"I'm... OK I guess. It just... hurt."

Ikuto lays beside me, his arms wrapping around my waist. I blush slightly.

"I'm going to make sure no one hurts you, OK?" Ikuto mumbles sleepily. Wow, his voice is proper sexy when he's sleepy. Then again, it's always sexy.

"Thanks Ikuto," I mumble back, snuggling into his chest.

I sleep for a few hours until I wake up and I find myself clawing at my arm. It itches so much! It is all I can do not to run my finger nails over the cuts. I want to ask Ikuto what to do but I don't want to wake him. I walk into the bathroom and gently undo the bandage. The cuts have scabbed over but they bleed ever so slightly in the corners. I run the cold water tap over my arm and sigh in relief. The water runs a dark orange-red colour as it washes the blood of my arm. I run the water over my arm until my arms feels like it has frostbite on it. I get a new bandage and wrap it around my arm and head back to my room. I jump into bed and snuggle into Ikuto.

"I love you Ikuto," I whisper into his chest.

"I love you too Amu," Ikuto replies in that same sexy sleepy voice. I jump slightly, not knowing he was awake.

I smile softly and fall back asleep.

**The next morning**

I cradle my bandaged arm in pain. I had slept on it all night and it was throbbing with pain.

"Are you OK, Amu?" Ikuto asks in concern.

"I slept on my arm all night and it kinda hurts," I say gasping slightly in pain. I head on over to my wardrobe and pull out my school uniform.

"You're not actually going to school?"

"I have to."

"But, but I thought things were tough at school?"

"Well, they are but I'm used to it."

"What is they see your arm?"

"I've got a bandage. Why are you stopping me from going school?"

"Because what if they make you feel like the way you felt yesterday, and you do _it _again?"

"They won't, yesterday was just Tadase."

"But-"

"I'm going into the bathroom to get changed, you might as well leave."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm going to school with you."

"_What? _You have school yourself and besides, you can't."

"I quit school to search for my dad, and no one will see me."

"Whatever," I shrug and head to the bathroom.

I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Where did things go wrong? I get changed into my uniform and head downstairs. As usual, my parents aren't awake. I get myself a bowl of cereal and sit at the dinner table, sipping from a glass of orange juice. I hear my mum plod down the stairs. She walks right by me to the kitchen, not even saying good morning.

"I heard voices from your room," mum says.

"I- I was on the phone," I say, calmly, munching on my cereal.

"Ha don't lie. You have no one to talk to on the phone, everyone's left you."

Tears well in my eyes but I blink them away.

"Not everyone."

"I heard Tadase dumped you."

"H- how do you know?"

"He came round, last night. Said he was worried about you."

"Why didn't you tell me?!" I say angrily.

"Hey, don't talk to me like that, you ungrateful little madam!" mum half spits at me and slaps me. Hard. I stare at her for a couple of seconds and run of to my room. I shut the door behind me and slide slowly down the door to the floor, tears streaming down my face. I forgot Ikuto was there and he rushes to me.

"Amu? What's happened?" Ikuto says, the worry clear in his voice.

"It's nothing," I say, wiping the tears from my face. "I need to um brush my teeth." I get up from the floor and open the door but Ikuto's hand grabs my wrist.

"What actually happened?"

"My mum slapped me, OK?

"Why?"

"Because I kind of shouted a her for not telling me that Tadase came round yesterday," I half shout at him. "Now I really need to brush my teeth."

I pull my wrist away from his grip and head towards the bathroom and brush my teeth. I grab my stuff and head back downstairs. I make my way out of the door without a sound. Above me, Ikuto jumps of my balcony.

"Ikuto, you're not actually going to come to school with me?" I ask.

"I need to watch over you," Ikuto says.

"I'm not a little kid, OK?"

"I don't care, I'm making sure no one says shit to you."

"Whatever, there's fuckawl you can do."

As I head downstairs, I hear Ikuto jump of the balcony. I head out the door and meet up with Ikuto who is standing outside the gate.

"There is somethings that I _can_, do just saying."

"What?"

"I can text you what you can do when- _if _anyone says shit to you."

"What?" I ask, trying to smile a little because Ikuto was genuinely trying to help me.

"Well I can text you if you feel lonely, and if anyone says shit to you, I'll sort them out, okay?"

"Um okay then."

We approach the school gates. Ikuto gives me a hug and says," I'll see you after school, okay?"

I nod and he kisses my forehead. I blush and I'm filled with a sort of happiness that whatever anyone says to me, they won't bring me down.

I walk to my classroom with a stupid smile stuck on my face and sit in my seat.

"I heard Tadase-kun dumped you," I heard an annoying voice say. It was Yamabuki Saaya. "Why do you look so happy?"

The moment she had finished talking my phone vibrated. It was Ikuto. It said:

_Ikuto: Say you're happy because you finally got rid of Tadase even though you're actually happy because of me ;)_

I smiled slightly. I turned to face her.

"I'm happy because I _finally _got rid of Tadase. I mean he was so babyish! Did you know that his dream is to rule the world?!"

"How dare you Tadase-kun?! I- "

She was interrupted by the appearance of Tadase.

"Ohayou, Tadase-kun. You will never know what Amu just said!"

"Why, what did she say?"

"She said she's happy because she's finally got rid of you."

"Oh really? She looked pretty upset when I dumped her."

My phone vibrated.

_Ikuto: Say you looked upset because you wanted to be the one who dumped him._

"I looked upset because _I _wanted to dump you. Not the other way round. Then it hit me that I finally got rid of you and happiness overtook me."

My phone vibrated; it was Ikuto congratulating me.

_Ikuto: Very nice ;)_

I smiled but then it hit me, how could Ikuto know whats happening?

"Who are you texting?" Saaya demanded.

"What, no one, just a friend."

"Pah, you have no friends."

"I have no friends _here _but I do have a friend outside of school. Besides why would I want to be friends with anyone here?"_  
_

I got another text from Ikuto.

_Ikuto: You're getting better at this ;)_

Before Saaya could reply, Tadase said," Amu, can I talk to you- " He glanced around. "Alone?"

"Sure."

"Yamaubuki-san, please could you leave for a moment?"

"I uh- _of course Tadase-kun_," Saaya said with fake sweetness. And so and her group of girls left.

"This new friend of yours doesn't happen to be Ikuto?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw you and him outside the school gates. And he kissed you."

"Yeah, on the _forehead. _Seriously Tadase, you're being pathetic. He's like a _brother _to me. Just go away."

Tadase left. I got out my phone.

_Amu: Ikuto?_

_Ikuto: Yeah?_

_Amu: How do you know what's going on?_

_Ikuto: Look out of the window_

I turned to look out of the window and I saw Ikuto perched on a nearby tree branch. He waved and I smiled back.

_Ikuto: You sit right next to the window and with my amazing kitty ears, I can hear everything ^.^_

_Amu: Oh right lol_

_Ikuto: And what's this about me being like your OLDER BROTHER? :O_

_Amu: I was just saying that to get rid of Tadase_

_Ikuto: Yeah I was gonna say, I'm more like your boyfriend ;) _

I blushed.

_Amu: SHUT UP!_

_Ikuto: Pmsl stop blushing, you look like a strawberry- well you are my strawberry ;) :3_

Obviously I blushed more. I saw Ikuto laughing outside at my strawberry-red face. I gave him a dirty look. The bell rang.

I frantically text Ikuto quickly.

_Amu: I'll talk to you later bye :) x_

Shit! I put a _kiss. _It was a force of habit; I used to always send a kiss to Tadase.

_Ikuto: Bye :) x_

He put a kiss too! That happy feeling rose again.

**Lunch Break**

At lunch, I like to go to the school rooftop where it's quiet and peaceful and no ones there to say shit to me. I feel my phone vibrate.

_Ikuto: Where shall I meet you x_

_Amu: The school rooftop x_

_Ikuto: Okay x_

I sit cross-legged on the floor waiting for Ikuto. Thngs were starting to get a little better. That scared me a little. When things were getting a little better, bad things happen and things go shit again. Maybe they won't this time.

"Yo," I heard someone behind me. It's Ikuto.

"Hi," I say.

He sits beside me. "How were your lessons?"

"Boring," I reply. "Thanks for your help Ikuto, I've never really been able to stand up to them before."

"Glad I could help." Ikuto puts his arm around me. I blush slightly. "So this is where you go everyday?"

"Yup, loner much."

* * *

**A/N **

**I'm so so sorry it's late. My list of excuses:**

**\- Laptop charger broke**

**\- Tumblr**

**\- YouTube**

**\- Pure laziness**

**I feel really bad. Pwease forgive me :( **

**Rose x**


	3. Chapter 3

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath - Chapter 3**

"So tell me," Ikuto says, when we get home from school. "Why do all of your friends hate you?"

"I'm bisexual," I say simply.

Ikuto splutters and chokes on his cookie that he was currently eating. "You're bi?"

"Oh shit, I didn't tell you, did I?" I groan. He's gonna leave me now, isn't he? Good going Amu.

"No.."

"Well go on then."

"What?"

"Laugh at me. Call me a gay bitch. Run of. Avoid me like I have some sort of contagious disease."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because everyone else did. I told Rima and she looked at me like I was a piece of shit. She then told Yaya and obviously Yaya told Tadase. Tadase was a bit shocked at first but then he didn't really care too much. He still went out with me. But by then the whole school new and hated me for it. They're just a load of homophobic bastards and judging by your expression, you're probably homophobic too."

"I'm not a homophobic, okay? I'm slightly offended you think that."

"Well why do you look so shocked?"

"Because you never told me this."

"Well I've told you now."

"Do your parents know?"

"Yup, that's why they hate me. Can't stand the fact their daughter bats for both teams," I say, venom in my voice.

"Have you ever- you know- been out with a girl?"

"No. Can't, even if I wanted to."

"Why?"

"Because all the girls fucking hate me. They avoid me like I'm going to finger them there and then."

"That sucks."

"Oh yeah it does. The bullying got worse and it got to the point where I would get jumped walking home. I started getting anxiety issues and I didn't know who I truly was anymore and then Ran, Miki, Su and Dia went back into their eggs."

"And do you know why this happens?" I sniff. "It's because I like girls as well as guys."

"Do you still get jumped?"

"No, not anymore. I guess it was because I used to always walk home with Tadase and he'd tell them to fuck of. Oh Ikuto, I miss him," I say, my voice so quiet, I could be whispering. Then the tears started falling down my face. Ikuto pulled me into his arms. "He used to tell everyone to piss of if they said shit to me, he'd walk me to classes in case anyone said anything to me. But now he's gone."

Ikuto hugs me tighter.

"And do you know why this happens," I sniff. "It's because I like girls as well as guys."

The tears that stream down my face don't seem to be stopping.

Ikuto pulls a tissue out from a box on my desks and mops up my tears and pulls me into a hug again.

"I love you for who you are, not because of your sexuality," Ikuto whispers, rocking me back and forth.

"Tadase said that to me too. And look what happened."

"I thought you were glad to be rid of him."

"I only said that to Saaya. I mean this was the guy who was with me through it all even when he found out was bi and he stuck up for me when I got bullied. I guess that's why I cut yesterday."_  
_

"I thought you loved me."

"I do Ikuto, I do," I say earnestly, looking deep in his midnight blue eyes. "I guess not in _that _way."

"Will you ever love me in that way?" What's with these questions?

"I- I don't know, why?"

"Just asking."

"Okay..."

"Anyway, was yesterday the first time you cut?"

"Yeah- HEY!"

"What?" Ikuto mumbled through a mouthful if cookie.

"Stop eating the cookies!"

"No."

Ikuto held the plate of cookies from my reach. I took this opportunity to tickle his armpits. He brought his arms down as an attempt to stop me tickling him. I took the plate from his gasping form and bit into a cookie.

"That's what I thought bitch," I giggle.

"Mean," Ikuto says, scowling.

"It's what you get for eating my cookies. Anyway what were you saying?"

"Was yesterday the first time you cut?"

I nod.

"How are your cuts, here let me have a look."

I hold out my arm for him to see. He gently pulls back the bandages and takes it the cuts. They had fully scabbed over and were in the process of healing. Ikuto pulls out an ointment from his pocket and gently rubs it onto my cuts. It stings a bit but I ignore it.

"That feels better," I sigh in relief.

"Good," Ikuto says, smiling a little. He brings my arm to him lips and kisses it gently.

"Ikuto.." I whisper.

**That Night**

"Goodbye Amu" Ikuto says, hugging me. "I'll see you tomorrow at the school gates, okay?"

"Okay," I murmur, not wanting him to go. "Bye."

"I'll text you though."

"Okay."

He let's go of me and jumps from my balcony. The moment he lands I get a text

_Ikuto: Yo ;) x_

_Amu: You've __literally just left and you're already texting me? x_

_Ikuto: I feel lonely :( x_

_Amu: ._. x_

_Ikuto: What you doing? x_

_Amu: Texting you. x_

_Ikuto: Sounds fun ^_^ ;) x_

_Amu: Haha what you doing? x_

_Ikuto: Walking home. x_

_Amu: Gr8 x_

_Ikuto: I miss Utau :( x_

_Amu: Awh so do I :( she didn't give a shit about me being bi x_

_Ikuto: I wish she'd come back from America already. x_

Utau had gone to America for her music career.

_Amu: Yeah :( x_

_Ikuto: When was the last time you spoke to her? x_

_Amu: Um last weekend I think. She's doing good :) x_

_Ikuto: That's good :) I just need to let her know I'm back in Japan x_

_Amu: Oh right does she not know? x_

_Ikuto: No I been distracted by you I haven't had time to let her know x_

_Amu: Sorry. x_

_Ikuto: Dammit Amu stop distracting me ;) haha x_

_Amu: Can't help it can I? ;) x_

**The Next Morning**

My alarm clock wakes me from my dreams. I groan. I really didn't want to get up. I had texted Ikuto all night and had gone to bed at 1pm. Ugh. I was have good dream and all.

I was in a cookie world with Ikuto and all we ate was cookies and all we drank was milk and we were in a cookie boat riding a river of milk.

I don't know what happened after that because I woke up.

But it was worth it I guess. Worth it for Ikuto.

* * *

**A/N**_  
_

**The end! **

**I'm going to be updating a lot more for you guys seeing as I'm fasting and I have very little to do with my life (other than sit on YouTube) seeing as all I did before was food.**

**DON'T ACT AS IF YOU DON'T DO THAT.**

**Hehe.**

**Rose x**


	4. Chapter 4

**I** **DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath - Chapter 4**

_Ikuto: Hurry up already, I'm at the school gates. That bitchy girl with red hair keeps trying to make conversation with me x_

_Amu: Who, Saaya? x_

_Ikuto: Yeah x_

_Amu: I hate her, she's the main reason everyone avoids me x_

As I walked closer to the school gates, the more I could make out everything. I can see Ikuto picking at his nails whilst Saaya giggles and twiddles with her hair.

"Hi, Ikuto," I say once I get to the school gates.

"Hey, Amu," Ikuto says, pulling me into a hug.

"Ergh, why are you hugging a gay bitch?" Saaya says spitefully.

"Shut the fuck up, you homophobic little bitch," Ikuto shouts at her.

Saaya gasps," How dare you call me a bitch!"

"I can't stand people like you and I think you're a stupid slut," Ikuto says straight to her face and pulls me away from her.

"Ikuto, you shouldn't have said that," I say once we get away from Saaya.

"Why not?"

"She'll end up taking it out on me."

"If she does, I'll sort her out."

"I've got to go now, bye Ikuto."

"Bye Amu." He hugs me and kisses my cheek before chara changing with Yoru and jumping into a tree.

I walk to class and sit at my desk gazing out of the window before realizing I was staring straight at Ikuto. I jump and scowl at him, my cheeks a little pink.

I feel my phone vibrate against my ribs and I pull it out.

_Ikuto: What were you dreaming about? ;) x_

_Amu: Nothing aha x_

_Ikuto: It was me. x_

_Ikuto: Obviously x_

_Amu: You wish. _

_Ikuto: When you don't put a kiss, I feel like I've done something wrong :(_

_Amu: Sorry xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Ikuto: That's better :) x_

I smile.

"She's total slag, I swear to God. I mean Tadase only just dumped her and she _already _has a boyfriend," I heard someone behind me say.

I turn around. It's Saaya; surprise surprise(!)

I've had with her, I swear down. I get out of my seat and turn to face her.

"Just because I've had a boyfriend," I say to her.

"What?" Saaya turns to face me, hands on her hips.

"Admit it, you've never had a boyfriend."

Saaya just stares at me speechless.

"You make out your perfect but you can't get a boyfriend," I continue. "And some bisexual hoe can. How does that make you feel?"

Still no answer.

"I guessing pretty crap, huh? I guess ugly personalities don't appeal to guys."

Saaya still stood the gobsmacked, everyone stood there gobsmacked because I've never done anything like this before.

"Oh, and one last thing, Ikuto is _so _not my boyfriend," I turn back and return to my seat. I feel my phone vibrate against the desk and I pull it out.

_Ikuto: Badass Amu!_

_Ikuto: I'm proud of you!  
_

_Ikuto: You told her_

_Ikuto: And what's this about me not being your boyfriend?! :O_

I roll my eyes and put my phone away as Nikaido-sensai walks in.

**Lunch Break**

"I'm scared Ikuto," I say, sitting cross-legged on the roof.

"Why?" Ikuto asks, concern in his voice.

"When things get good everything goes bad again."

"They won't this time, I promise."

"OK," I say mostly for Ikuto's benefit.

**The Next Day**

Ikuto isn't here to walk to school with me; he has go pick up Utau from the airport. She's coming back, I'm so excited!

I walk to school feeling really lonely. I enter the school gates and go to my classroom. I pull out my phone and see that I have a text from Utau.

_Utau: Hi! Guess who's back?! I cannot wait to see you! Hurry up and finish school already! x_

_Amu: I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU EITHER OMG I REALLY CANNOT BE ARSED FOR SCHOOL X_

_Utau: Or is it because Ikuto isn't here? ;) x_

_Amu: I don't mind the fact Ikuto isn't here x_

_Utau: Really? ;) x_

_Amu: Really. x_

_Utau: Hmm... x_

_Amu: Got to go now, text later mwah x_

_Utau: Byee x_

**After school **_  
_

I walk home feeling really excited about meeting Utau for the first time in _ages. _Not long after two minutes, I saw Saaya.

"Nobody says shit like that to me and gets away with it," Saaya whispers dangerously at me.

"Sorry you can't take the truth," I say, trying to walk past her. More of her stupid friends come out and block my way.

"I think..." Saaya purrs. "We need to teach you a lesson."

She shoves me to the floor, I hurry to get up but she sits on me.

"Hold her arms and legs down!" she demands.

Someone grabs my legs and someone else pins my arms down. Saaya lobs a punch to my face, pain sears through my jaw. I let out a groan.

"That's for being bisexual." Another punch. "That's for embarrassing me in front of everyone." Another punch to my stomach. "And thats for your blue-haired friend calling me a bitch and a slut.

More punches and slaps and then they leave me laying there on the ground. My body covered with bruises. I get up wincing slightly. I pull out my phone.

_Amu: I won't be able to see you today. I feel TERRIBLE. I tried forcing myself but I almost passed out. I'm so sorry xx_

_Utau: It's okay, I'll see you tomorrow hope you get better soon babe xx_

I feel bad for lying but I don't want her to see me like this. I run home and hurry to my room locking the door. It wasn't long before the tears starting pouring.

I feel so alone and lost.

* * *

**R&amp;R please ^~^**

**I'm soweee this chapter is short but don't be sad, the next chapter will better!**

**I PROMISE.**

**Please review! I love it when you guys review :3 all your reviews get emailed get to my phone and I like to read them while I'm and out and about (pah I'm never out and about, I obviously mean at school and stuff). They really make me happy and I'm just there smiling at my phone like an idiot haha so please please please review!**

**Rose-chan x **


	5. Chapter 5

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath - Chapter 5**

I hurriedly look for it, dropping all of my necklaces and chokers on the floor. I barely pay attention to them. And then I see it. Metal, glinting the evening sun, bit of browned blood on the edge.

My sharpener blade.

I stare at it and I take a deep breath. I lift my skirt and run the blade across my thigh. I do it again. And again, going way deeper than I did before.

A nasty voice in my head says, _Everybody hates you._

The only way to stop it is to cut.

_Slut_

Another cut.

The more horrible what the voice says, the deeper I'll cut.

_You're own FLESH AND BLOOD hate you_

I push the blade deeper.

_All your friends HATE you_

Another voice speaks up in my head.

_Not all your friends._

I stop mid-cut.

_You still have Ikuto and Utau and your little sister._

I set the blade aside and finally see what I have done.

Blood oozes at a fast rate out of the fresh cuts, my thigh just a mass of mangled flesh.

I need to get to the bathroom, but how can I when my thigh won't stop bleeding?

I pick up a forgotten shirt of the floor and wrap it around my thigh, putting pressure on it. My fingers fumble as I try to make a knot. I drop my skirt hoping it will cover the shirt-bandage and hurry to the bathroom.

I run a shallow cold bath and slowly lower my thigh into the water. It feels like bliss. I gently wash the blood away and see the damage I've done.

Six slashes across my thigh, all differing in length, some wider than others.

I stay in the bath for half an hour, by this time the water has turned luke-warm. I peer in the bathroom cupboard and find the first aid kit and pull out a bandage. I wrap it around my thigh tightly, hoping the pressure will stop any blood leaking out.

I get dressed into my pajamas and jump into bed.

It's not long before I start crying.

I try to cry silently, but it's impossible when I just want to scream. I resort to shoving my face into my pillow.

"Amu?" I hear my mum call. She enters my room and sees my damp face and my damp pillow. "I thought I heard someone crying. What's up?"

"Nothing," I sniff.

"If nothing was up, you wouldn't be crying. Go on what's up?"

"I'm sorry mum."

"What for?"

"For being bisexual. I think I'll go to sleep now, night mum."

She leaves my room silently without saying night.

Sometimes I hate myself.

**That Weekend**

"Amu-chan?" I hear my mum call. It's the first time she's called my Amu-chan in ages.

"Yeah?" I call.

"You're friend Utau is here to see you."

Crap why's she here?

"Okay!"

I hear someone knock on my door.

"Come in!" I say.

Utau steps in, looking perfect as ever.

"Amu!" she says in happiness. I run up to her to give her a hug.

"Utau!" I say, hugging her tightly.

We stay hugging for at least five minutes.

"So," Utau says. "You feeling better?"

"What?" I ask, confused..

"Remember, you weren't feeling well?"

"Oh yeah, ha ha I forgot. Silly me. Yeah I'm feeling better, thanks."

"Hey, what happened to your wrist?" Utau asks in concern, looking at the bandage.

"I, uh, sprained it," I say, not looking into her eyes.

"Really?" she says, obviously not believing me. "And you somehow managed to get it to bleed."

I look down at the bandage and I see it slightly blood-stained.

"Come on, pass me your arm," she says, holding out her hand.

"I, uh, no!" I say, holding my arm out of reach.

"Amu," Utau says, giving me the look of death. "Give. Me. Your. Arm. _Now._"

"Okay," I say, reluctantly giving her my arm.

Utau gently pulls back the bandages and sees the horror underneath.

She gasps. "Amu! What happened?"

"I did it to myself."

"_Why_?"

"Well you know everyone found out I was bisexual and everyone hated me. Well I thought I lost everyone: you, Ikuto, my parents, my charas, Tadase and my friends. I felt so alone."

Utau pulls me into a hug. "You are never alone. _Never._"

I hug her tightly back.

"Did you do it anywhere else?" she asks.

I didn't answer.

"Amu?" Utau says dangerously.

I didn't reply.

"Where else?"

"My thigh," I say, looking down at my toes.

"Another reason why?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Things were getting better. Ikuto was back, I was starting to stick up for myself and wasn't that lonely anymore. I got scared because when things get better, something bad happens. And it's true. There's this girl called Saaya, who _hates _me so much. Earlier on I had said something to her, sticking up for myself. Then I was walking home and Ikuto wasn't with me because he was with you at the airport. She got me back for what I said to her. She jumped me and beat me up. I was lying Utau, I wasn't ill, I was upset. I just didn't want to upset you, especially when you've come back."

"Show me your cuts."

I flipped my skirt up and gently pulled down my tights. I unwrapped the bandages and Utau swore at what she saw.

"This is really bad Amu, how upset were you?"

"There was this voice in my head."

"What was it saying?"

"Saying shit like, "slut" and "all your friends hate you"."

Utau hugged me. "You're gonna get over this. I'm not gonna let this happen, just because you're bisexual."

**Monday**

Utau walk to school with and Ikuto's going to stay with me in school.

"Oh my God! It's Utau!" I heard someone squeal. It was Saaya.

"That's Saaya," I quickly say to Utau.

Utau hugs me at the school gates. "I'll see you after school! Bye!"

"Ergh, Utau-chan, you do know she's _bisexual_," Saaya says like I have swine flu.

"Yeah, so?" Utau says, hand on her hip. "I hate homophobic girls like you. You make me sick," Utau says in disgust, walking of.

I sit myself in the classroom and see Ikuto sitting on a tree branch. I wave at him.

Saaya comes up. "How do _you _know someone like Utau?"

"She's like my best mate," I say. I turn to where Rima is sitting. "At least she doesn't stop being friends with me just because I'm bisexual."

* * *

**R&amp;R please ^_-**

**Quick update, I know but I really want to finish writing this story because I'm so used to writing one-shots. I've only ever done one multi-chapter story before but it was a bit of a fail. =/**

**Please review, I like to know what you guys think =)**

**Rose-chan x**


	6. Chapter 6

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

**The song I use in this chapter is Same Love by Macklemore, I've changed it a little though. I DON'T OWN IT.**

* * *

**What Lies Beneath - Chapter 6**

"Have you heard?!"

"What?!"

"Apparently, Utau-chan is having a concert and she's going to perform her new song!"

"Really?!"

"And I have tickets!"

I heard Saaya go on to her mates. Me and Ikuto also have tickets to this concert. It's annoying because Utau won't tell us what this song is about.

**The Concert**

"I'd like to dedicate this song to my friend who's here today!" Utau says into the microphone. The crowd cheers. The music starts

Utau starts singing.

"When she was in the third grade she thought that she was gay,

'Cause she could draw, her uncle was, and she kept her room straight.  
She told her mom, tears rushing down her face  
Her mums like "You have to ignore these feelings, it's just a phase."

But she couldn't ignore the feelings.  
Bunch of stereotypes all in her head.

For those that liked the same sex  
Had the characteristics  
The right wing conservatives think it's a decision  
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion  
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition  
Playing God, aw nah here we go  
And "God loves all his children" is somehow forgotten  
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago  
I don't know

And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to  
And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to

If she was gay, she would think everyone hates her  
Have you heard what people say lately?  
A word rooted in hate, yet our generation still ignores it  
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion  
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment  
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins  
It's human rights for everybody, there is no difference!  
Live on and be yourself  
I might not be the same, but that's not important

No freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it

And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to  
And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to

We live in a world so hateful

Some would rather die than be who they are

No law is gonna change us

We have to change us  
Whatever God you believe in  
We come from the same one  
Strip away the fear  
Underneath it's all the same love  
About time that we raised up

And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to  
And she can't change  
Even if she tried  
Even if she wanted to."

Silence. Silence at what Utau has just sung. Then Ikuto starts cheering. And one by one everyone starts cheer and clap.

I see what her intentions were. She was trying to make people not homophobic by writing a song.

And before I knew it, I was jumping onto the stage and giving Utau a massive bear hug and she hugged me back. Everyone cheers and claps but I barely notice them.

It's just me and Utau.

**At Home**

I see a replay of the concert on TV. I see me running up to Utau and hugging her.

"She's quite something, isn't she?" my mum sits next me.

"Yeah," I say, smiling.

"Amu-chan, I need to talk to you."

"Um, okay."

"I'm sorry for everything. I've been a terrible mum and I accept the fact you're bisexual."

"Oh, okay."

"And there's something else."

"What?"

"I was getting you're washing and saw a shirt _covered _with blood."

I sat there speechless.

_Shit! I forgot to wash it!_

"How did you get blood on it?"

I didn't say anything.

"Amu-chan?"

"I cut myself and I used as a bandage."

"By accident?"

I didn't say anything.

"Amu-chan, why?"

"Oh shut up! Can you fucking blame me?! Everyone, _everyone _hated me. You, dad, my friends, everyone at school. Just because I'm bisexual. I got beat up for it. I was _so alone._"

Mum burst into tears. "I'm- I'm so sorry," my mum sobs violently.

I turn away. I don't care. "I don't want your apology."

**School, Lunch Break**

Nearly everyone in the whole school came to apologies. I guess Utau's song worked.

I sit on the roof with Ikuto.

"I'm scared again, Ikuto," I say.

"Why," Ikuto asks.

"Things are getting better."

"Maybe things are getting better for good."

"I don't know..."

"Trust me Amu."

I don't say anything.

**After School**

Ikuto walks with me after school. He puts his arm around my shoulders.**  
**

Saaya approaches us.

"You," Ikuto growls.

"Don't Ikuto, she's not worth it," I say, holding Ikuto back.

"I just wanted to apologies, okay," Saaya says. Is she for real? "I sorry for all the trouble I caused and I'm sorry for giving you a hard time."

"Are you for real? Do you _actually _think I'll forgive you? Because if you think I will, you must be fucked in the brain."

I walk of, Ikuto's arm protectively around my waist.

**Home **

I hug Utau, whirling her round and round.

"I love you so, so, _so _much!" I say. "Thank you _so _much for writing that song!"

"It worked then?" Utau wraps her arms around me tightly.

"Damn right it did!"

"Here, I got you something," Utau says, handing me a bag full of something. "Can you hand these CDs out around school?" It was full of CDs with her new song on them.

"Sure!"

We all decided to make a poster saying: Free signed CDs of Utau's new song!

Maybe things were starting to get better for good.

* * *

**R&amp;R Please :)**

**Rose x**


	7. Chapter 7

**I DON'T OWN SHUGO CHARA**

* * *

** What Lies Beneath - Chapter 7**

Utau sits on a little desk, stacks of CD's beside her, a black marker in her hand and a huge queue of kids waiting to get their CD.

"Hi Utau," a girl says, shyly. "I absolutely love your new song. I'm gay and your song gave me the courage to come out."

I know who she is. When everyone bullies me, she always tells them to stop. But obviously they don't.

I smile.

"Arrigatou! Be proud of who you are, okay?" Utau says, scribbling on CD.

The next girl steps forward. "Is it true that you're a lesbian? Apparently you're dating that girl with pink hair."

"No, who said that?" Utau asks, while writing her signature on the CD, smiling nonetheless.

"Saaya-san."

"Oh really? Anyway nice meeting you! Bye!" Utau hands the girl the CD.

"You should prove to them you're not dating Utau," Ikuto whispers in my ear.

"How?" I ask. It'll be impossible, the kids in this school believe _anything. _

"Kiss me."

"WHAT?" I exclaim, scuttling away from Ikuto.

"Come on, I'm not _that_ bad," he whispers seductively, licking his lips slightly. I go red. In order to burn away my awkwardness, I hit Ikuto on the head.

"Go away."

"No."

"I'm not kissing you."

"Fine."

I didn't really think he'd go away that easily.

I spoke too soon.

I feel a soft, warm pressure on my lips, I'm staring straight at the tips of Ikuto's midnight blue bangs and his closed eyelids. I stay stiff for a few seconds, still in shock. I soon then relax into the, kiss, my eyelids also close and I wrap my arms around Ikuto's neck

"AMU'S KISSING THAT GUY!" I heard Saaya scream. I heard a load of chatter and footsteps and gasps. I ignore them, it's just me and Ikuto in our own little bubble.

I pull away and see a smiling Utau, a fuming Saaya and for some strange reason a gaping Tadase even though I thought he had a new girlfriend. Jealous bastard.

"So I'm guessing you lied about me dating Amu?" Utau says to Saaya.

"I-" Saaya stutters.

"Bitch," me and Utau say in Unison. We giggle.

Ikuto then picks up me bridal style, chara changes with Yoru and jumps onto the rooftop.

"HEY!" I protest.

"Shh, we're going to our special place," Ikuto whispers in my ear.

"_Our _special place? Excuse me, I found it first!"

"And you decided to share it with _me _so shh."

We land on the rooftop. He takes me into his arms and kisses me and whirls me around. We stay in our special place all day.

**Home**

I return home really happy but there was this little niggling feeling that everything would go all wrong because well it always does.

"I'm home!" I call. I swap my school shoes for my slippers and run up the stairs.

I enter my room and jump onto my bed and lay there, staring up at my ceiling, smiling.

From the corner of my eye I saw a faint red, blue, green and yellow glow. I sat up and turned to see what it was.

It was Ran, Miki, Su and Dia's eggs rising up. I stare open-mouthed.

Then the eggs crack open.

"Ran? Miki? Su? Dia?" I whisper.

"Konnichiwa Amu-chan!" they all say.

"What- why- I- " I stutter, not knowing what to say.

"Are you happy Amu-chan?" Dia asks.

"Well, yeah. Even more now."

"Then we are too!"

"Amu-chan," Su says. "Chara nari with me."

"Why?" I ask, confused.

"You'll see."

"Okay," I haven't done this in ages.  
"MY HEART: UNLOCK."

I jump to the ground, a whisk in my hand. "Let's gently fix everything and put them back the way they were. Remake honey!"

The scars on my wrist disappear, as do the scars on my thigh. The blood on my sharpener blade disappears and gets put back into the sharpener.

I become ordinary Amu again. "Su," I say, pulling her to my face. Ran, Miki and Dia join into the face-hug.

My phone starts ringing. It's Utau. "Moshi moshi?"

"Hey Amu! Do you me and Ikuto wanna meet up at the park?"

"Yeah sure! Also I have a surprise for you guys."

"Okay, be there in 15 minutes."

"Okay."

Utau hangs up.

I get changed out of my school uniform and start walking to the park. I have company for the first time in ages.

When I get there, I see Ikuto and Utau lounging on the grass.

"Okay! Be there in 15 minutes!"

"Sure!" Utau hangs up the phone.

I get changed out of my uniform and get walking to the park, having company with me for the first time in ages.

When I get there, I see Ikuto and Utau lounging on the grass.

I walk over to where they are sitting and sit beside them.

"Hi," I say.

"What's this surprise?" Ikuto asks, sitting up.

"Look who's back!"

Ran, Miki, Su and Dia pop out of their pouch.

"Amu! You're charas are back!" Utau exclaims.

"Yeah and also my scars have disappeared!" I show them my wrist and hitch up my skirt a little so they can see my smooth scar-less thigh.

"Oh my God, Amu! I'm so happy for you!" Utau says giving me a big hug.

"It's all thanks to you! If you didn't write that song, I'd still be getting shit."

Ikuto kisses me on the cheek. "I'm happy for you," he simply says, but we both know he means something deeper.

I lay back onto the grass, resting my legs on top of Utau's, Ikuto rests his head on my lap, Ran, Miki, Su, Dia, El, Il and Yoru have a game of football, the sun beats down onto us, a soft breeze blowing, Utau sings softly and for the first time in ages I'm at peace, happy with who I am.

**The End ^.^**

* * *

**A/N**

**It's the end! I hope you enjoyed guys! I know the ending was a bit sudden but I really wanted to finish it.**

**I say it again, if you have any trouble just let me know, I don't judge, OK?**

**Bye and once again, thanks for reading!**

**Rose-chan x**


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